In the past month we have purchased a new to us car. The princess sits directly behind me now, but in a third row. So when we have a car chat now I can look straight at her, something I could not do in our old car.
While my brain was fuzzy driving in to church today after less than enough sleep, apparently the princess's brain was in overdrive. Not only going to church, but again on the drive home.
I think kid's need a warning light that begins to go off when they are going to ask a question that requires some actual thought from you. I've developed my own system. Child asks question, mom delays response the appropriate length of time, then responds with HUH? Child repeats question giving Mom and extra 15 seconds to consider her answer. I employed this fool proof technique on several occasions today!
Our first chat today started when the princess ask me if her Mom was going to come get her. I was truly perplexed for about 2 seconds since we were on our way to church which does require this Mom to go get her from Sunday School, but almost instantly I knew it wasn't about me, but about her other Mom. And that's where I started. And we talked about those possibilities and then she asked a question that I don't think she's ever asked. I think that we have told her before what her Mom's name is, but I'm pretty sure she's never asked. But, today she needed to know. And I think today for the first time the name stuck. I think that is a small piece of identity for her. I'm sure in the year's ahead she will struggle like any kid with who she is and probably her struggle with be intensified because there are some big pieces missing, but for right now having a name seems to be plenty for her.
She saved the more challenging of the two chats for on the way home from church.
We had just left church and I again was driving in my brain fuzz when I heard, "How old will I be when a boy likes me?" I really did employ the HUH? Method because I was SURE I had heard her wrong. But, no, she wanted an answer.
I inquired as to why she was concerned about when a boy would like her and watched as she squirmed in her seat and then said, "Because I like a boy and he said he doesn't like me."
Really, this has to start at 7 years of age???? I'm sure people find it hard to believe, but at the age of 7 all I cared about was whether or not I could hit the side of the garage with a mud ball or if I could kick the ball OVER the neighbors fence.
The boy she mentioned does have a name, but for his sake I'll keep him nameless. I quickly assured her that this boy indeed did probably enjoy playing with her and spending time with her just like any other friend and I listed off a handful of both boys and girl to make my point.
Then I took a leap of faith and asked her what made a boy a "boyfriend." There was no hesitation or no need for her to think about it, she simply said, "It means he can take me places."
Don't you just love it when your kids answer your questions in a way that lets you off the hook! I ran with her answer and we decided that 7 was a little young for a boy to take her somewhere, especially since she wasn't much into riding bikes, and this particular 7 year old is far from driving a car.
The bottom line...She decided that a boy didn't need to "like" her until he was 16 and could drive her somewhere.
Now if I can just keep her in that mindset for the next 9 years!
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