Joy vs. Grief

Yes, I know that this blog is supposed to be about the Princess and I promise to get back to her soon, but right now Little Man is going to hijack her blog until I have time to start one for him.

Tonight I feel the need to acknowledge the direct juxtaposition of emotions that occur with Little Man's birth. Yes, we are overjoyed and our days are filled with lots of smiles and fun new things. But I'm keenly aware these days that my joy and fun comes at a VERY high cost for someone else. My joy is paired with their grief and it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I want life to be fair. I want to have joy, but I don't want someone else to have to bear the burden of grief.

The whole thing is magnified because unlike the Princess's mother who is just a face to me, this is someone I know. I've seen the pain and the grief. I can't hide from it this time. It's very real.

I pray that with both our kids we will be able to express to them how much a gift they are in our lives. I want them to understand that someone made a giant sacrifice in order for them to be with us. That while we love them deeply, someone else loved them first and made a huge sacrifice so that they could be with us.

These two share a special bond that Doug and I will probably never fully understand.