All Alone

Tonight I sit blogging from the coast. I love the beach. I love it in the spring when it's warm, but not crowded. I love it in the summer when it's so hot you can stay in the water all day. I love it in the fall when the breezes are a relief after the hot summer. I love it in the winter when you can throw on a pair of shorts for a run even if it's January!! When this weekend was planned Little Man was supposed to be here hanging out with me, but I'm here all alone. You see my husband had other plans and this time he "put his foot down" so I had no argument.

So, here I am-- all alone. (Okay, not completely alone because I have a friend with me!) I'm completely separated from my Mom duties. I haven't tied a shoe that wasn't on my foot in 24 hours. I haven't put any toothpaste on a toothbrush other than my own. I took a shower today and nobody came to ask me a question or just decided that I needed company because I just might be lonely. I sat down with a book today and read more than 3 words before I had to stop. But, boy I miss my kids.

I knew shortly after the princess was born that I liked being a Mom. During the first few years of her life I assumed we would have more children. It never crossed my mind that we would only have one child. (I know, you would think I, of all people, would have considered the fact we might be one child wonders!) But it wasn't until I was faced with the reality of probably only having one child that I realized I loved being a Mom. I realized how precious my time was because it was so fleeting. By this point all those fun times of having an infant, toddler, and pre-schooler were gone. And when the princess went to school and I returned to work I found that I felt like less of a Mom because I no longer had that all day impact. Oh, there was still plenty of Mom jobs to do, but they were all crammed into a few short hours each evening.

So, when Little Man dropped into our life I was so happy to be able to go back to doing what I was made to do. Now, I'm not implying that all women are made to be Moms. But without a doubt, I was. And, now I know that there will be no more children coming along I don't want to miss a moment of time that I will never get back.

As I laid in bed (by myself) last night and listened I missed the sounds that now bring me comfort. The sounds of the princess gritting her teeth while she is sleeps. The snuffleupagus noises that Little Man makes while he's sleeping. Or the water noises that drift through the monitor by my bed from his room. It's been great to be away for a couple of days, but it will be even better to be back home!